I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet