smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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