Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.