i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone