This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night