I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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