Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
this is an emotional support booty call
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.