She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.