once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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