This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
