Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
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Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....