The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob