that's an acceptable place to lick
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
smell my finger.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
