If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO