her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
