you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy