I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.