It's shark week go big or go home
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.