I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day