He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist