Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
