Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask