Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We're too hungover to prance.