Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Send us your Text From Last Night!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?