I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Send us your Text From Last Night!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Enjoy the penises
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.