Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.