I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn