To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Send us your Text From Last Night!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.