im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
