He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
and you fell through a lawn chair
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon