I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.