He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?