I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex