yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
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You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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