Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.