I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My day in three words: secret purse cake