This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize