dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She bit a glass in half.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
