I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sex in the backyard? Check.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
