You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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