Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha