I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she told me i tasted like america
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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