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my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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