alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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