Texts From Last Night

teerochelle's Favorites Texts:

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover

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  (734): I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover http://tfl.nu/93w3
  Replies (1) Good night (1110) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.

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  (330): My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out. http://tfl.nu/tebu
  Replies (11) Good night (1363) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.

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  (248): Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students. http://tfl.nu/08kn
  Replies (50) Good night (803) Bad night (4476)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard

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  (612): Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard http://tfl.nu/lrld
  Replies (9) Good night (1467) Bad night (2956) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man

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  (614): I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man http://tfl.nu/8rsc
  Replies (9) Good night (4130) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.

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  (703): He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle. http://tfl.nu/3luk
  Replies (25) Good night (6112) Bad night (1775) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.

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  (312): If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops. http://tfl.nu/hm3g
  Replies (1) Good night (935) Bad night (2358) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He tried peeing out of the sunroof.

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  (847): He tried peeing out of the sunroof. http://tfl.nu/ep38
  Replies (5) Good night (1296) Bad night (2965) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.

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  (937): Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream. http://tfl.nu/kpop
  Replies (8) Good night (979) Bad night (2785) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob

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  (818): Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob http://tfl.nu/xjl4
  Replies (24) Good night (4585) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.

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  (512): I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub. http://tfl.nu/cojk
  Replies (7) Good night (6016) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.

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  (518): he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left. http://tfl.nu/59ww
  Replies (38) Good night (1607) Bad night (8248) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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  (314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present. http://tfl.nu/xf6g
  Replies (789) Good night (7330) Bad night (109917) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

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  (505): I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot http://tfl.nu/gw1u
  Replies (378) Good night (1927) Bad night (53586) Order T-Shirt