the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.