if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."