Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation