Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.