you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
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this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on