It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...